Wednesday, August 29, 2007

JDK's World

If you're looking for a straight-up biographical sketch of Jonathan D. Klein, look elswhere. According to his employment agreement with Getty, he's "is viewed as an expatriate on assignment" over here in the US of A, from the UK.

Instead, JDK must be an ex-pat from an off-world colony, or a parallel universe, JDK's World, if you will. There are a number of JDK-isms. To wit:

  • Of Linda Ranz - "Linda has had a spectacular career at Getty Images and her contribution to the success of the business, in a variety of roles, has been enormous." This, after she had been there only 10 months, during a time when the stock plummeted. Where else is a 10 month run seen as "spectacular", other than the alternate world that is filled with show tunes called Broadway?
  • PDN reported "Klein also revealed that a glitch in Getty's online footage search led the company to lose about $1.5 million in revenue. 'The bad news is that it happened. The good news is that it has been fixed since them,' he said." Really? As Ismay suggested to Captain Smith to increase speed the bad news is a navigational glitch has been revealed, the good news is, we won't have to discuss it in a few days, might have been a comparable conversation. "Glitch" and a "$1.5 million" loss are not equatable to one another.
  • About criticisms of JDK/GYI/et al, he said "There could even be some wild speculation about our business and our prospects. My advice is simple -- ignore it." Really? Ignore your critics? At your own peril in this world, but it is commonplace in la-la land (aka Hollywood), and you see how much many of those films loose. When studios know they have a bomb, their surefire method is to not make the film available for a preview for the critics, or, better yet, praise the fake critics. So, I say again - ignore your critics at your own peril in this world.
(Continued after the Jump)

I'm sure that many of you can expand on these in the comments. GYI employees, feel free to post away using the "anonymous" commenter option.

PDN reported back in July:
Jonathan Klein...plans to work from New York for nine months beginning in September...Officially, Klein is coming to New York so he can connect with Getty customers, who include many media and advertising firms in New York...Unofficially, we know New York is a great place to talk mergers and acquisitions. Klein has said Getty wants to acquire more companies and expand into new services.."
However, it could be that the cocktail/party circuit in Seattle is a bit lacking, and Klein is, instead, looking to have a well-shaken Martini as he increases his visibility among other Wall Streeters who might, instead, give him a new lease on life at a new company, perhaps? If you can't change the world you are in, at least change cities (and hopefully jobs). This is one aspect of JDK's World.

Those aren't tinted spectacles he wears, they're full-on reality-shifting spin-meistering beer goggles, where JDK's World does not look like our own.

A few questions remain:

Did JDK's World export the phrase and mentality "loose a little on each sale, but make it up in volume?"

In JDK's World does the formula A-L=OE work?

In JDK's World is the common investment strategy to short, rather than seek increased value? If so, a drop from $90+ to $30+ in such a limited timeframe should be cause for celebration!

In some areas of this world, "Profit" is a bad word. Is that so in JDK's World?

In JDK's World, is up down, and down up? Can if be found down the rabbit's hole", or through a side door in the WWCF?

Perhaps, instead, JDK has figured out the theory of the universal wavefunction and has finally figured out the deterministic equations to solve non-deterministic events, which, of course, would be a boon to this world, to be sure.
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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Get your facts straight, Ranz has been at Getty since 1999, which you'd know if you had done 15 seconds of research.

She was highly successful in a variety of roles inside Getty. More to the point, she was the one person in senior management that was highly respected and liked by those in the trenches.

Not only for her ability to get things done, but for her lack of politics, and for being a genuinely nice person. There's no way someone like that could last in senior management long.

Anonymous said...

Correct, Linda Ranz was probably the ONLY member of the Executive committee that anyone at the company respected.

I mean, did you know Getty has a Chief of Staff on it's ExCom? Chief of Staff?? The position is basically a bellhop for JDK--the COS is a guy that failed in every Getty endeavor but is a FOJ (Friend of Jonathan, as they're known throughout the company).

Oh, and by the way, Klein ordered himself up a $1M bonus for the move to NYC--on the heels of laying off about 35 people.

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